Well, Anyway...
There's so much to try and wrangle with over the last week. I've been reminded time and time again of Dr. Maya Angelou - "When people show you who they are, believe them the first time."
Nothing that's happened is really surprising. All pretty much what we've - well, those who are not currently in a cult anyway- have born witness to since Obama took office in 2008. The vitriol in that presidency was something I'd never experienced. I have a vivid memory of driving past The Mont in Norman, Oklahoma, and listening to someone on NPR talk about how the Republican party's goal was to make Obama a one-term president. That's it. And to me, that's when the division started to take hold.
I was raised by Republicans. My aunt worked closely with Mccain for years; my grandfather was in oil and natural gas. I grew up singing country songs and sitting in pickup trucks on Friday nights. But I was also raised to believe in kindness, compassion, empathy, and generosity. Those were morals I thought politicians would embody. They're voted into these positions because they are the best of us. That's what I thought, anyway.
It was never about eggs, or migrants, or terrorists. Not really. But we know that, don't we. It's always about power, control, manipulation, and whatever means necessary to embolden and prop up those who deserve these positions the least.
My son - 15 and a freshman- grapples with many of the same concerns we all have. He asked me, how did this happen? How did we get here? It's a fair question, and I don't have an answer. The morals and soul of our country have visibly eroded just in my lifetime. And I don't mean Christian values, or Family values, or whatever dog whistle they want to use to hide bigotry and hate. I mean humanistic values. Those of love, compassion, friendship, community, empathy. When Sandy Hook did not change gun laws, when families were separated, when hope was trampled under indifference and callous hearts, where do we go. How do we go on?
There's a meme I'm quite fond of - "Strega Nona knows joy is a radical act." I'm tired of being resilient. But I'm not done. I'll keep freaking trying to choose joy. Every damn day - well, most of them anyway.
I can't pretend like things are going to be okay. I just don't fucking know if they will or not anymore. I'm trying to stay informed - because so much is happening so quickly, but I am also setting more limits on my information and where I consume it.
I'll take more breaks, spend more time outside and with my community, bake more bread, and plant a ton more flowers. Not because I'm ignoring the bad but because I believe in a brighter future, one where I've not been forced to become something I am not. That is work. It's a struggle, and I will not let some orange man baby take away my ability and right to be joyful.
